I know, this isn’t a very exciting blog… so I guess I need something to justify its existence.

I anticipate that this will go down as the second biggest jumpandyell blog event of the year.

The biggest, of course, will be when I finish my art project depicting Greg as the purple teletubby.  But that’s still a work in progress and will have to wait until later.

Since I’ve received a number of requests to hear a karaoke love duet featuring myself and Cara, I decided to cave in and appease the masses.  So here you go, enjoy:

(You might be laughing on the outside, but on the inside you are crapping yourself with envy)

… and it’s good enough for ME!!

I’ve decided to try a new concept for this blag (yes, I meant to spell it “blag”. xkcd rules!!!). This will be a cooking blog, focusing on food shaped like the letter it begins with.  Nice, huh?

Just kidding.  But boy do I bake a mean lasagna.  Fortunately I had Cara to help me caramelize the onions properly.  Last time I made lasagna, I “blackized” them.

Speaking of blackizing, have you seen Robert Downey Jr in this trailer?

And for those of you hoping for a goofy webcam picture of me instead of lasagna… too bad, suckers.

I have a four day weekend ahead of me that promises to be… amazing. Because, you see, I will be spending all four of those days with a gorgeous, funny, delightful young lady named Cara. She is also talented, with a singing voice like honey butter. And I am smitten.

That’s right, she’s going to be Stuck With Me for four days… ha ha ha!

And here’s the cheesy 80s dedication:

Oh yes I am. I’m going to do something with this site too…

Maybe I’ll become a real blogger, sharing my brilliant observations with the world.

Or maybe I’ll just ramble aimlessly about nothing.

First I need to upgrade my Wordpress software… because the amount of spam is ridiculous.

Jazz lost to the Mavs tonight. I’m on the Jazz bandwagon this season, they’re having an excellent one. But alas, the number one team in the NBA brought them down tonight on their home court, despite playing a really good game overall.

The good news is, I made up a funny caption in tribute to the Mighty Dallas.

Do you remember the Shire, Mr. Frodo? It’ll be spring soon. And the orchards will be in blossom. And the birds will be nesting in the hazel thicket. And they’ll be sowing the summer barley in the lower fields… and eating the first of the strawberries with cream. Do you remember the taste of strawberries?

No, Sam. I can’t recall the taste of food… nor the sound of water… nor the touch of grass. I’m… naked in the dark. There’s… There’s nothing. No veil between me and the wheel of fire. I can see him… with my waking eyes.

Then let us be rid of it… once and for all. Come on, Mr. Frodo. I can’t carry it for you… but I can carry you!

Third Birthday

Originally uploaded by jumpandyell.

I found this photo from my third birthday hidden in a box of old photos at my grandma’s house on Christmas Eve. Wasn’t I a cute kid? Look at those natural blonde highlights! Look at that stylin’ tank top! Look at that Wild Kingdom Express Train cake!

OK, so it’s not very Christmas-y, but it’s always fun to find old photos of yourself you’ve never seen before.

I’ll bet I got a way with a lot when I was three. Being that cute, and an only child… not to mention the first grandchild on both sides. I had a sweet deal going on back then.

From Lee Majors*.

Hi kids. I’m here today to talk to you about drugs.

You probably remember me as The Fall Guy (yes, I was also the Six Million Dollar Man). I’m the most famous of the “unknown” stuntmen. Every day I faced danger and beautiful women. And I did it all without drugs. I believe in natural highs. That’s the way real men do it.

[Read more →]

Ginger

Originally uploaded by jumpandyell.

Wow, I haven’t blogged in AGES! Pure madness. Basically, I locked myself out of my blog (forgot the user name and password) and I’ve been too lazy to figure it out so I could get back in. But I’m here now, and this is my dog Ginger.

She is very affectionate. And she can fly.

Just kidding about the flying.

OK, so I’m not really very maniacish. I’m just a clever linguist that makes up words like “maniacish”.

So here we go with my second entry into the Health and Fitness category. This time with an actual Health and Fitness plan. I’m dropping my caloric intake, exercising, and dropping the flab. It’s my plan. It’s my mission.

This is my spring resolution, and I am taking it seriously. In fact, I have Healthy Choice chicken and broccoli sitting in the microwave, waiting for me (I’m letting it sit there for a bit so the heat can distribute itself more evenly before the final nuking). I find that my appetite has returned to slightly more normal proportions. It was a monster there for a while, I think because of the Prednizone. If you’ve noticed any small towns that have gone missing, I probably ATE them.

But yeah. I’m on a mission now. Went to the gym for an hour today, I’m going to continue that trend. I’ll take some of that exercise outside if the weather decides that it’s really and truly actually spring and quits snowing twice a week. I noticed that they’ve extended the trail along Bluff Road so that it runs most of the way along there, probably a couple of miles worth. The mountain bike needs to go on a tour of this trail, and help get my lungs and leg muscles primed for some actual MOUNTAINS.

And then there’s golf. Sweet, beautiful golf season about to start up. I’m getting excited for that. A little scared too. Haven’t picked up a club in many many moons. Should be interesting.

And now for the weigh-in. I’m at 192 right now (which is fortunately already a couple of pounds down from my last consultation with the bathroom scale). I’m checking back in two weeks, and just to keep myself motivated, if I haven’t dropped somewhere between 5 and 10 pounds by then, I’ll have to somehow penalize myself… no more Albertson’s cookies EVER!!!

Ha… like that’s ever gonna happen. Giving up the cookies I mean. Maybe after I become a Vegan, or Hell freezes over. Whichever happens first.

I’ve been packing on the weight lately. I really need to cut back on the junk food and exercise more regularly. I was good and worked out for an hour last night. But lately, I’ve been loving Albertson’s chocolate chip cookies. I eat ‘em by the bagfull.

And then there’s the Cadbury Creme Egg. The most delicious thing known to man. I could eat those all day. But then I’d get sick. And chubbier.

Perhaps I won’t eat creme eggs all day.